You I really don't expect you to confide in me anytime you meet someone and... and develop feelings, Dedue. [He interrupts, talking over him as Dedue begins, clearly jumping to quite a few conclusions and none of them involve Dedue's feelings for him.] In fact, I'm happy for you. Truly. This place is a new start, there's no reason why you should not-
[He then looks up and sees Dedue. Actually sees him. He pauses, mouth still open, everything, this talk, how Dedue feels, it all hits him in a rush. And then Dedue says the words. It takes Dimitri a long moment to recover, shocked, overwhelmed by emotion, confused. His thoughts rush through so many things, but eventually come back to seeing Dedue and Tighnari's hands.]
Are... you sure? You and Tighnari looked... close.
[This... Was really and truly not how he had expected this conversation to go. He thought he would confess, and Dimitri would gently let him down, and then he would bury his heartbreak and do his best to go on as before. He dared not hope for a better outcome.
But now there are others involved, more than just the two of them, and that complicates things. It makes the conversation... More about Tighnari than about the two of them. Though, Tighnari is part the reason he's confessing now and not... Three years from now, or possibly never.]
He has romantic and sexual interest in me, he has told me. I told him that my heart belongs to you, and I could not betray you. I have shared some platonic intimacies with him and some others, because the imprint is helpful for both parties, and because... Because there are people I have come to care for.
I did not intend to hurt you. I am deeply sorry. It seems my heart has strayed from you in our time here, and I am deeply ashamed of that. Should you desire it, I would shirk all others and devote it entirely to you.
[It really isn't about Tighnari. Tighnari is a confusing wrench thrown into things, an additional complication, but it's also an excuse to buy Dimitri just a little more time to try to work through the flood of feelings he's suddenly trying to sort through. Years worth of feelings that he'd thus far kept successfully locked away, dammed up.
And Dedue... Dedue you sometimes couldn't get more than five words out of, was saying so, so much. Apologies, promises. It's making his head spin.]
No... No.
[He reaches out to take Dedue's hand, needing the connection and hoping it will help ground them both.]
First off, you have nothing to apologize for. As usual. [He gives him a soft, fond smile, voice quiet and calm. This was the easy part. The part where he didn't have to confront his own feelings and the anxieties that tied them in knots.] You haven't strayed from me. You are not some thing that is mine and mine alone to keep. You are free to do as you like and nothing brings me more joy than knowing that you are forming deeper bonds with those we find ourselves here with. I warms my heart to know you're making friends.
[And that brings them right back up against the edge of the somewhat blurry line between friendship and something more.]
Losing you... It shattered me. Without you, I felt like an empty husk, cursed to continue living. I love you. I have loved you.
But -[He pauses, slowly building up the courage and the right words.] I think... it was that day... on the bridge... when you returned. I think that's when I realized. [He'd wanted to kiss him, to hold him and never let go. The sight of Dedue riding toward them had been the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.] But, I didn't think you-
[He swallows thickly, his attempt to gather his thoughts and clearly articulate his feelings had failed miserably. He looks at Dedue again, studying his face.] You're sure? However you feel, there is nothing you could do or say that would make you any less dear to me. So, please, do not let those unfounded fears sway your heart.
I am loath to admit that I think I have developed some romantic feelings for... Two of those friends. That is what I feel most guilty for.
[It is an inconvenient truth, one that seems to cheapen his feelings for Dimitri, especially in this moment of confession. All the same, he must be honest. He wishes his affections were singular, as it would be simpler, and his devotion would feel stronger. Even back in the academy, there was Ashe, there was Mercedes and even Sylvain, people he cared so deeply for that it seemed to transcend traditional ideas of 'friendship' and become something more. Here, it is the same, and these feelings just sort of... Happened to him. He feels terrible about it, like he is hurting all three of them at once.
But he appreciates Dimitri telling him he is not a thing, especially in light of how dehumanized he felt in the experiments, and how the townsfolk are beginnning to treat him now that he shows signs of a golem soul.
And then... He goes to to say he loves Dedue. He finally looks up at Dimitri, astonished. His mind immediately betrays him, planting doubt, of course. Perhaps Dimitri only loves him as a friend.
But he says he realized it on the bridge. After believing Dedue was dead, and seeing him alive after all.]
Perhaps I have always felt this way, to some degree, but I only began to accept it recently. I love you so much it aches. It makes me ill. I assumed you would never... Never return these feelings, and that I would only ruin our friendship by telling you, so I kept them inside, but it has eaten at me.
[Even now, there is strife in his tone, his throat tight, his fists still clenched. He still can't allow himself to believe that Dimitri feels the same. His stubborn mind is always full of denial, because in his mind no one could feel that way for him, least of all someone as wonderful and beautiful as Dimitri. Dedue simply thinks of himself as... Nothing. Worthless. Contending with others' feelings for him has been difficult, to say the least, as they go against that strongly held belief.]
I am certain. That to hold you in my arms and call you mine, as well as being yours, would be the happiest moment of my life. But I... I would never presume to be entitled to such a thing.
[Conflicting emotions once again pass across Dimitri's face. Romantic feelings for two other friends... On the one hand, he doesn't want Dedue to feel guilty, on the other, however, he feels a rising sense of possessiveness and jealousy.
He also just can't imagine developing feelings for anyone else. It's difficult enough making friends let alone opening up enough to genuinely connect with someone on a deeper level.]
So much that it... aches? [All of this is so difficult to process. It's all so much.
Maybe it's the overwhelming mix of emotions, but he thinks through what Dedue says. How he'd felt this way for some time but thought Dimitri wouldn't reciprocate. All the while he'd felt the same. It's... He can't help but laugh. It's a quiet, incredulous little chuckle, but it's certainly a laugh.
'Entitled to such a thing'.] Dedue... of course you are. [He shifts, moving closer so he can wrap his arms around Dedue, burying his face in his chest. He doesn't trust himself to say the right thing here. Honestly, he doesn't know how to even start navigating half of what Dedue has said, but this is safe.]
I thought... I thought I alone harbored these feelings. I did not want you to feel unduly obligated. It is a relief to know you feel the same. [He tilts his head and moves just enough so he can look up at Dedue.] I don't know... what- how-
[Dedue is surprised by how quickly he has made friends, and how quickly those friendships have opened themselves up into deeper connections. Without the misconceptions of Duscur following him around here, people have been much quicker to call him a friend, and that has been... Nice, if incredibly strange.
But he meant it when he said he would shirk all others if it meant he could have Dimitri.
He nods. Dimitri says of course he is entitled to such a thing, and it makes no sense. He can't wrap his head around any of this, until—
Dimitri hugs him, and there's a wave of relief that washes through him. Dedue instinctively wraps his arms over his liege, feeling that age-old desire to protect him from the world, from every hurt that could befall his heart. Their imprint sinks in, but he knows that even without it, this would feel so... Right.
As Dimitri looks up at him, the gaze of that icy blue eye into his own is so bright he can barely meet it, like looking directly into the sun. Dimitri is so beautiful that his heart breaks, even as they hold each other and confess their love.
He ducks his head to press their foreheads together, and closes his eyes.]
Don't speak. [More words will not help them understand. But for good measure:]
I love you, Dimitri. I always have, and I always will, until the day I die, and into the afterlife.
[It's a promise that is easy to make. Since they met, he has imagined his grave next to Dimitri's.
He cups the side of Dimitri's face and presses their lips together firmly. He cannot believe he is doing this, and yet, he must.]
[Dimitri clings to Dedue, but even more so he holds onto the calming, safe feeling of the imprint that washes over him. He nods when Dedue tells him not to speak. It is easier that way, isn't it? Even if they now, honestly, have far too much to talk about.
There's something about the way Dedue looks at him that makes his face feel flush and something in his chest flutter. But it's so easy to lean forward to press his forehead against Dedue's, the two of them sharing the same breath.
He pulls back, disbelief flickering across his face. Those pesky questions and that pesky doubt is back, but Dedue does the best thing he could've done and guides him into a kiss. Any thoughts or doubts are washed away, there's only him and Dedue and the feeling of their lips pressed together. He parts his lips slightly, tilting his head so their mouths can better fit together. Making a soft sound into the kiss, his hand shifts higher on his chest, fingers curling gently into his shirt. He'd thought about kissing before, but nothing could have prepared him for how wonderful kissing Dedue was.]
[He cannot believe this is happening, and yet, it is. Dimitri, rather than freezing or pulling away or stammering awkwardly, is actually kissing him back, deepening it, and hanging on to him. His liege makes a sound so soft and sweet it swells Dedue's heart incomprehensibly and stirs desire in his gut.
Dimitri. The beautiful, lovely, handsome, sweet, troubled prince. Blonde and fair, blue-eyed and tall, muscular and pretty enough for every schoolgirl in Faerghus to have dreamt of him at one point or another. For this and a multitude of other reasons, Dedue always thought he was completely off-limits.
And now the prince is kissing the man of Duscur.
He is now deeply relieved he declined Tighnari's request to kiss him. At the time, it had seemed somewhat foolish to save himself for someone who likely didn't return his feelings at all, but now he is glad he did, because it means Dimitri is his first kiss, and that is the way it should be. He wraps his arms around him further, hands splayed out to stretch across his back and ribcage and hold him securely, partly afraid he will change his mind and pull away, and partly just wanting to communicate how much he wants this. The prince's lips are so tender that it hurts somehow. How many times had he looked at his gentle mouth and longed to feel it against his skin? For years, he denied himself this, when perhaps he could have had it all along.
It's not worth thinking about right now. He deepens the kiss by parting his lips in turn, pressing them harder against Dimitri's, his cheeks flushed and hot with the overwhelm of this. He isn't quite sure how kissing is meant to work, he only knows how badly he wants this. Dedue's fingers press somewhat urgently into his sides and back.]
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[He then looks up and sees Dedue. Actually sees him. He pauses, mouth still open, everything, this talk, how Dedue feels, it all hits him in a rush. And then Dedue says the words. It takes Dimitri a long moment to recover, shocked, overwhelmed by emotion, confused. His thoughts rush through so many things, but eventually come back to seeing Dedue and Tighnari's hands.]
Are... you sure? You and Tighnari looked... close.
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But now there are others involved, more than just the two of them, and that complicates things. It makes the conversation... More about Tighnari than about the two of them. Though, Tighnari is part the reason he's confessing now and not... Three years from now, or possibly never.]
He has romantic and sexual interest in me, he has told me. I told him that my heart belongs to you, and I could not betray you. I have shared some platonic intimacies with him and some others, because the imprint is helpful for both parties, and because... Because there are people I have come to care for.
I did not intend to hurt you. I am deeply sorry. It seems my heart has strayed from you in our time here, and I am deeply ashamed of that. Should you desire it, I would shirk all others and devote it entirely to you.
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And Dedue... Dedue you sometimes couldn't get more than five words out of, was saying so, so much. Apologies, promises. It's making his head spin.]
No... No.
[He reaches out to take Dedue's hand, needing the connection and hoping it will help ground them both.]
First off, you have nothing to apologize for. As usual. [He gives him a soft, fond smile, voice quiet and calm. This was the easy part. The part where he didn't have to confront his own feelings and the anxieties that tied them in knots.] You haven't strayed from me. You are not some thing that is mine and mine alone to keep. You are free to do as you like and nothing brings me more joy than knowing that you are forming deeper bonds with those we find ourselves here with. I warms my heart to know you're making friends.
[And that brings them right back up against the edge of the somewhat blurry line between friendship and something more.]
Losing you... It shattered me. Without you, I felt like an empty husk, cursed to continue living. I love you. I have loved you.
But -[He pauses, slowly building up the courage and the right words.] I think... it was that day... on the bridge... when you returned. I think that's when I realized. [He'd wanted to kiss him, to hold him and never let go. The sight of Dedue riding toward them had been the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.] But, I didn't think you-
[He swallows thickly, his attempt to gather his thoughts and clearly articulate his feelings had failed miserably. He looks at Dedue again, studying his face.] You're sure? However you feel, there is nothing you could do or say that would make you any less dear to me. So, please, do not let those unfounded fears sway your heart.
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[It is an inconvenient truth, one that seems to cheapen his feelings for Dimitri, especially in this moment of confession. All the same, he must be honest. He wishes his affections were singular, as it would be simpler, and his devotion would feel stronger. Even back in the academy, there was Ashe, there was Mercedes and even Sylvain, people he cared so deeply for that it seemed to transcend traditional ideas of 'friendship' and become something more. Here, it is the same, and these feelings just sort of... Happened to him. He feels terrible about it, like he is hurting all three of them at once.
But he appreciates Dimitri telling him he is not a thing, especially in light of how dehumanized he felt in the experiments, and how the townsfolk are beginnning to treat him now that he shows signs of a golem soul.
And then... He goes to to say he loves Dedue. He finally looks up at Dimitri, astonished. His mind immediately betrays him, planting doubt, of course. Perhaps Dimitri only loves him as a friend.
But he says he realized it on the bridge. After believing Dedue was dead, and seeing him alive after all.]
Perhaps I have always felt this way, to some degree, but I only began to accept it recently. I love you so much it aches. It makes me ill. I assumed you would never... Never return these feelings, and that I would only ruin our friendship by telling you, so I kept them inside, but it has eaten at me.
[Even now, there is strife in his tone, his throat tight, his fists still clenched. He still can't allow himself to believe that Dimitri feels the same. His stubborn mind is always full of denial, because in his mind no one could feel that way for him, least of all someone as wonderful and beautiful as Dimitri. Dedue simply thinks of himself as... Nothing. Worthless. Contending with others' feelings for him has been difficult, to say the least, as they go against that strongly held belief.]
I am certain. That to hold you in my arms and call you mine, as well as being yours, would be the happiest moment of my life. But I... I would never presume to be entitled to such a thing.
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He also just can't imagine developing feelings for anyone else. It's difficult enough making friends let alone opening up enough to genuinely connect with someone on a deeper level.]
So much that it... aches? [All of this is so difficult to process. It's all so much.
Maybe it's the overwhelming mix of emotions, but he thinks through what Dedue says. How he'd felt this way for some time but thought Dimitri wouldn't reciprocate. All the while he'd felt the same. It's... He can't help but laugh. It's a quiet, incredulous little chuckle, but it's certainly a laugh.
'Entitled to such a thing'.] Dedue... of course you are. [He shifts, moving closer so he can wrap his arms around Dedue, burying his face in his chest. He doesn't trust himself to say the right thing here. Honestly, he doesn't know how to even start navigating half of what Dedue has said, but this is safe.]
I thought... I thought I alone harbored these feelings. I did not want you to feel unduly obligated. It is a relief to know you feel the same. [He tilts his head and moves just enough so he can look up at Dedue.] I don't know... what- how-
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But he meant it when he said he would shirk all others if it meant he could have Dimitri.
He nods. Dimitri says of course he is entitled to such a thing, and it makes no sense. He can't wrap his head around any of this, until—
Dimitri hugs him, and there's a wave of relief that washes through him. Dedue instinctively wraps his arms over his liege, feeling that age-old desire to protect him from the world, from every hurt that could befall his heart. Their imprint sinks in, but he knows that even without it, this would feel so... Right.
As Dimitri looks up at him, the gaze of that icy blue eye into his own is so bright he can barely meet it, like looking directly into the sun. Dimitri is so beautiful that his heart breaks, even as they hold each other and confess their love.
He ducks his head to press their foreheads together, and closes his eyes.]
Don't speak. [More words will not help them understand. But for good measure:]
I love you, Dimitri. I always have, and I always will, until the day I die, and into the afterlife.
[It's a promise that is easy to make. Since they met, he has imagined his grave next to Dimitri's.
He cups the side of Dimitri's face and presses their lips together firmly. He cannot believe he is doing this, and yet, he must.]
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There's something about the way Dedue looks at him that makes his face feel flush and something in his chest flutter. But it's so easy to lean forward to press his forehead against Dedue's, the two of them sharing the same breath.
He pulls back, disbelief flickering across his face. Those pesky questions and that pesky doubt is back, but Dedue does the best thing he could've done and guides him into a kiss. Any thoughts or doubts are washed away, there's only him and Dedue and the feeling of their lips pressed together. He parts his lips slightly, tilting his head so their mouths can better fit together. Making a soft sound into the kiss, his hand shifts higher on his chest, fingers curling gently into his shirt. He'd thought about kissing before, but nothing could have prepared him for how wonderful kissing Dedue was.]
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Dimitri. The beautiful, lovely, handsome, sweet, troubled prince. Blonde and fair, blue-eyed and tall, muscular and pretty enough for every schoolgirl in Faerghus to have dreamt of him at one point or another. For this and a multitude of other reasons, Dedue always thought he was completely off-limits.
And now the prince is kissing the man of Duscur.
He is now deeply relieved he declined Tighnari's request to kiss him. At the time, it had seemed somewhat foolish to save himself for someone who likely didn't return his feelings at all, but now he is glad he did, because it means Dimitri is his first kiss, and that is the way it should be. He wraps his arms around him further, hands splayed out to stretch across his back and ribcage and hold him securely, partly afraid he will change his mind and pull away, and partly just wanting to communicate how much he wants this. The prince's lips are so tender that it hurts somehow. How many times had he looked at his gentle mouth and longed to feel it against his skin? For years, he denied himself this, when perhaps he could have had it all along.
It's not worth thinking about right now. He deepens the kiss by parting his lips in turn, pressing them harder against Dimitri's, his cheeks flushed and hot with the overwhelm of this. He isn't quite sure how kissing is meant to work, he only knows how badly he wants this. Dedue's fingers press somewhat urgently into his sides and back.]